Confession #2

I've been legally divorced for several years. In that time my ex has repeatedly asked me to come back to him with my answer consistently containing one consonant, and one vowel. This last January he started dating a woman who was born when he was 15, and that was preparing for her Sweet 16 birthday when I was pregnant with our second child. It means that this younger, shinier, newer model has come along and enchanted my two little girls, 8 & 12. And that when their father came to get them this last Friday and announced that they were getting married on the 31st of this month, our wedding month, and my baby started jumping up and down with excitement, I wanted to kick her feet out from under her. Instead I just stood there and smiled congratulating him.  Couldn't they get their own month? I wondered.  I guess my 'best wishes' encouraged him because he asked me to keep the kids that weekend after the wedding so they could have a honeymoon. He didn't say, "honeymoon." He didn't have to.
One would question whether I was still in love with him. I'm not. I am, however, in love with the idea of love, marriage, and family. As I sat in my living room later that night, numb, I realized the final nail has been placed and it's time to bury the past. I cried for what would never be, could never be, not with him. I mourned time lost, dreams dashed, and crazy ideas like, he'd get help for his problems.
So now I pass the torch on to an unsuspecting, foolish young woman who refuses to deal with what is in front of her. Whose own marriage ended in adultery leaving her with unresolved issues of her own, yet wants to jump blindly into a life with a man she only pretends to know. A man whom she defends in spite of his arrest three short months ago for strangling his teenage son. A man who very well may likely strangle her nine year old son when he too becomes the same age our sons were when his abuse of them started.
What's the saying, "When one door closes, another opens?" Well, I believe that is me walking out and her walking in. I'll leave mine unlocked...she's going to need it.