Confession #15

"Uncle!" I give.
I can't think of a time that my children have personally hurt me more than my two little girls do now. And if not my girls alone, then my boys along with them.
When I took my baby to school this week she asked me when I was going to get a new car. My car isn't even three years old but her father, who leased his car, traded it in for a new one. So DisneyDad gets to have new cars, new carpet, new furniture, new wife, new, new, new...he is also taking them to Disneyland for the second time this coming summer. I've not been able to take them once. I live in an apartment with used furniture that is torn, can't afford a trip to the movies for all of us let alone a vacation to Disneyland.
The big blow; my baby referred to Warthog as "mom" when she was talking to me. You would think my girls to be expert swords-women what with the accuracy of their "strikes." Straight into the heart every time. Ev-ver-ry time.
You know, if Warthog was a decent woman who treated me with respect it wouldn't hurt so much. But she isn't and doesn't. She is an evil and spiteful subhuman form that has charmed my daughters. The same daughters that I suffered greatly to bring into this world and would die for want to be like her.
Then my #3 son, who said he no longer had a father, decided to invite Ex to his surgery this week. Fortunately he asked him to come alone and while I'm glad he is reaching out to his father, I'd rather not deal with him.
Our oldest daughter has had some health problems requiring physical therapy and Ex refused to help pay. I got an email telling me to read paragraph 15, section 3. I wanted to reply with, "Read the contract you signed and had notorized promising to pay for the medical needs of the children," or "You prove, on an increasing basis, that your word, spoken or written, holds as little value to you as it does to everyone else," and then my last response which was deleted with the others was, "Shame on you."
Instead I wrote to my attorney. "I need for this to be over. I've no tongue left to bite and my soul dies a little bit every time I have to deal with him."