Confession #6

It's the week of Ex's wedding. I get an email from him stating that he will pick up the girls Friday night after work, the boys Saturday morning at eight, and that I will need to pick them up after the wedding or they can take the bus home. Yes, "the bus." Now, this is his wedding. His children are celebrating his union with a woman they barely know, and he can't arrange a ride home for them?
I respond asking what time the wedding is over. He doesn't know. I reply telling him, "A bus is not acceptable or appropriate. These are your children, celebrating/supporting you, and Victim. Certainly that is worth a ride home. I'm fairly certain Victim's family would only be too happy to take them home."
He promptly responds accusing me of being a hypocrite. I should be more supportive of his marriage, and that they're leaving right after the wedding. He will, however, "find someone who is willing and supportive to do this."
Now, I don't know about you...but that was the straw that broke my camels back. I've ignored his rude, scathing, accusatory emails to this point but I was done. In previous days he had refused to help buy clothes, and supplies for the children to start school. He tries to prevent me from participating in my daughters baptism. His fiance is trying to give me advice on co-parenting. I end up keeping his dog, as well as the children, on his weekend to have them so he can go on a honeymoon! Yes, even his dog. And I'm not supportive?
I wrote back and told him everything I've been holding back for years. Well, not everything but the things that came to mind, he got it. And at the end I wrote, "Bottom line...it doesn't matter what you say about me, how you act towards me...God knows the truth and you can't pull the wool over His eyes." Then I quoted, "The Color Purple." You know, the part towards the end where Celie is leaving Albert and he goes to hit her. She turns around and says, *"Everything you've done to the kids and me you've already done to yourself and until you do right by us, everything you even think about will crumble."
Honestly, it felt good to finally tell my truth and not worry about upsetting the apple cart. I've tried for all these years to keep it amicable between us and for what? It's like I was one of those crazy people trying to keep a bunch of plates spinning at the same time as well as juggling a bunch of knives. I don't recommend it.
It's Thursday and I am feeling pretty good. I kept thinking I should prepare myself because my ex was getting married and well, shouldn't I be upset? Nothing. Not until I hear his voice Friday afternoon on my daughters phone. She had it on speaker. My eyes began to water, and I began to fall apart.

*I've altered the quote a bit to fit my circumstances.